By Popi
So, what do we do for the next year as we wait? Blogs are
full of rumors and so-called secret information. Who in the end survives?
So…
Most Likely to Die Next
1. Varys – He’s not dead yet? He’s so over, the screenwriters probably
forgot about him or he’d have been killed seasons ago. Now the only thing he’s
good for is to give Tyrion someone to talk to.
2. Bronn –
Kind of lost his luster wouldn’t you say? It seems he changes sides every
season and frankly in the Age of Dragons and White Walkers who needs him?
Besides, real-life Cersi hates him and won’t be on the set if he’s there.
Really.
3. Jorath
Mormont – He another Bronn-like sideshow to the major characters. The only
thing in his favor is he’s almost been eliminated about ten times so the
writers must be keeping him around for some reason, right? Nope. Every character could say the same thing.
4. Pick a
Stark or two – There are too many of them and it’s been a while since one has
met an ignominious end. Rickon hardly counts. The kid vanishes for about 6
seasons and suddenly reappears for one scene? Anybody stupid enough to run away
in a straight line when a guy is shooting arrows at him ought to be gone
anyway.
a. Arya - Don’t think she
makes it to the end. When the wars are
over, what do you do with a whacked-out sister who’s too in love with sharp
pointy objects? She’s like Yul Brenner in the original Magnificent 7. She’s great to have around when the bad guys
are everywhere but at the end? Please just go away.
b. Bran - As for
Three-Eyes, he’s just creepy like a one-man hidden camera. Apparently his one
purpose through the entire show was to assist in identifying Jon as the true
Tagaryen heir. Thank you. You can go
now.
5. Tyrion Lannister – Out on a limb with this pick. Like
Little Finger he’s a major player of little (no pun intended) use anymore. He
sucks as a military strategist and now that Daenerys is with Jon Snow she no
longer needs him. No wonder he looked troubled outside Dany’s cabin when Jon
Boy got down to it. Yeah, Tyrion once is/was one of the most popular
characters, but outside of killing his sister who needs him?
6. Kings Landing Trifecta. That now tragic figure Jaime
Lanister will kill Cersi and then get his head lopped off by the Mountain before
the big lug gets waxed by his brother the Hound. Maybe the longest continuous
story line in the entire epic is the Hound’s determination for revenge against
his brother.
7. Daenerys – This is an easy one. Could have been #1. Jonny Snow is the true
heir to the Iron Throne and I don’t think she’ll be too happy about that at
all. Since she’s joined the fight against the White Walkers the cards say she
defeats the Night King with her 2-to-1 dragon advantage but goes down for the count
as well. Either she or Jon have to go,
and it won’t be Jon. However, if the TV writers have become as unsavory as the
author “Jeorge” R.R. Martin (you know he wishes his name started with a J) seems
to be, they may let the incestuous couple survive and singlehandedly add
another identity to our rapidly expanding culture. LBGTI anyone?
8. All the others don’t really matter one way or another
(or I’m just tired of writing this ditty).
In closing:
The Most Annoying Character That Just Won’t Die
There’s only one and his name is Theon
Popi
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