Overrated Sports Movies: Jerry Maguire

When I hear someone say they like the movie Jerry Maguire, it makes me want to vomit. There's literally nothing to like about this movie. The supporting cast sucks, the movie is shit, but most importantly, Tom Cruise is the worst actor of all time.

How the f*ck did this score of 7.3 on IMBD? To make matters worse some hillbilly named Chris Chase put this at #12 OF THE BEST SPORTS MOVIES EVER. What an insult to humankind. But what do you expect from a guy with Chase in his name. Especially when he has Jerry Maguire ranked above these classics:

• He Got Game 
• Miracle
• Blue Chips
• Chariots of Fire
• Slap Shot

*Foams at mouth*

Supporting Cast is Trash 

Lets Start with Rod Tidwell played by Cuba Gooding. Jr, another miserable actor in his own right. Looking over his credits as an actor on IMBd just screams out that he is either a terrible gambler or an awesome coke-head. If he didn't play OJ in that show I would have seriously thought he had died.

Back to Rod, the 5'6" WR who talks like Ocho-Cinco before he had his McDonald's breakfast. Not only did he poison American pop culture with the phrase "Show me the Money," he wasn't finished as he looked to contaminate football's youth during the most annoying scene in the movie.

If that was realistic that Cowboy would have knocked his ass out a second time. That's what happens before this scene: he gets lit up and is clearly concussed then he starts jumping around like an asshole like he won the SB. I didn't see Brandin Cooks get up after that massacre hit on Sunday and do blurpees and jumping jacks.

Renée Zellweger

Seriously, who likes this broad? She has a resting bitch-face, and all I can think about when I hear her name is this scene in Family Guy. Apparently this movie launched her career. Good for her; got to love it when someone fools an entire industry i.e. Tom Green, JaMarcus Russell.

I did like her work in Me, Myself, & Irene. Actually come to think of it, she was annoying AF in that one too. I just like that movie. 

Jonathan Lipnicki

The name tells you everything you need to know right off the bat. Never trust a Johnathon that spells his name Jonathan. Just looking at this kid makes me want to get a vasectomy. This guy was beloved for his dumb ass lines such as "You know a human head weighs 8 pounds." As far as I know that's a lie, just like America's infatuation for this little puke. If I was Jerry Maguire and I saw that rugrat sitting in the living room on my first visit over to the house, I would have gotten out of there faster than Abe Simpson entering the burlesque house.

Tom Cruise is the Worst

I don't know what it is about Tommy, but he literally ruins every movie he's in for me. The Last Samari was apparently a good movie. Never saw it. When Tom Cruise is on the screen I just tell myself, "That's Tom Cruise," not the role he is playing. Pretty sure they cover that in Acting 101 at Grossmont College. Tough to get into a movie when you know the whole thing is a lie right from the get go. And this is way before he went full psycho on Oprah's couch.

In one of the more famous scenes in JM, Cruise asks "who's coming with me." He was out acted by Jim Breuer in the spoof of said scene in a much better movie: Half Baked:

How embarrassing? There's a reason why this schlub keeps remaking Jack Reacher and Mission Impossible movies. His best acting job ever was portraying Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder because you couldn't tell it was him.

Disagree with this take? Leave some comments, I welcome your argument.